Listless?

I haven't been writing as often as I usually do, and I'm not sure if this is for the better or worst.. Do I write and work myself up into feelings that were never mine or am I truly just expressing myself and venting my feelings?

My problems seem to have become much more complicated, yet so very much more simple. This illness that I wont be cured of, it fuels the flames that smolder and catch alight in my darker hours and I am intoxicated by this terrible funk. But my thoughts and feelings also seem so much more understandable, while also feeling foreign and strange.

This whole situation I find myself in is juvenile and listless.